Put a smile on
It’s no secret that smiling makes you seem warm and inviting to other people, which can help how they see you. But it turns out you may even get the same benefits by looking in a mirror and smiling at yourself.
“As social creatures, we are programmed to notice the body language of others and scan for cues of safety and welcome,” relationship therapist, educator, and author Shadeen Francis told INSIDER. “Smiling is a universal signal for warmth, approachability, and attractiveness.”
“But this also works for yourself; if you smile at yourself in the mirror, you receive very similar neural cues as you would if a familiar friend smiled at you,” she said.
Researchers at the University of Cardiff in Wales in 2009 studied how facial expressions can affect a person’s mood and found evidence that suggests people who smile more can actually feel happier.
Give yourself a pep talk
It’s always nice when someone close to you notices or points out a good quality, but you don’t have to wait around for that extra boost.
It may seem silly, but repeating positive affirmations to yourself in the mirror or saying things that you like about yourself will help you validate those traits and value them in yourself.
“Attention is an exercise in intentional focus,” Francis said. “Whatever you give attention to will expand in your field of consciousness. Taking time to actively notice positive qualities about yourself, whether external characteristics or internal skills and qualities, helps them become more salient to you. When you spend time acknowledging these traits, you can experience them more fully.”
A 2014 study from the University of Illinois published in the “European Journal of Social Psychology” suggested that people who talked to themselves had higher job success and confidence. Experiments showed that when people talked to themselves — in the same way that they would speak to a friend — it hyped them up. The study also showed that people injected more energy into saying the word “you” when referring to themselves.
Don’t self-sabotage
A study from the National Institutes of Health found that people who dwelled on negative aspects about themselves actually had a higher risk of self-doubt and may have a lower-rate of self-satisfaction.
If you find yourself making negative statements about yourself, you need to pay close attention to why. These types of statements can make you feel worse about yourself and take a toll on your self-image.
Psychologist Jodi De Luca recommends that people identify what is causing them to make these statements and eliminate the cause if they can.
“In particular, pay special attention to what triggers self-sabotaging statements,” she told INSIDER. “Is it a particular environment? Person? Situation? Once you identify the triggers of negative self-talk, you have a better chance of catching yourself, turning negative self-statements into positive ones, and even preventing them.”
Assess your relationships with others
The weight of a toxic person in your life may be preventing you from feeling your best.
A 2015 study in “The Journal of Ethics and Education” surveyed people who had a relationship in their life that exhibited traits of “estrangement, change, mistaken friendship, and false friendship.” The study found that they often didn’t realize that others were dragging them down and saw toxic people through “rose-colored glasses,” which can take a toll on their mental health.
If there are people who are constantly putting you down, being rude to you, or are just bad influences on your self-esteem, do your best to cut those people out of your life or spend lesss time with them.
More importantly, prioritize the people who spend their time supporting you and building you up. This can instantly boost your confidence, De Luca said.
